My new doctor gave me “the plan” today…. Ouch, I think they now own my life.
Last weekend, I had dragged my sweet husband to a cold, sterile, lab so we could get a boatload of blood tests done. No kidding, these people mean business. I left the room woozy after the lab technician drew 6 vials of blood out of me. I think Pete had 5 vials drawn.
The reason for the blood tests were to check to make sure neither of us are inflicted with any infectious diseases. Why should they care? They want proof that we are clean, in the event we try to sue them for giving one of us something during treatment! Man, I forget what a litigious world we live in.
I thought we were done with the red tape, but now they need us to come in to sign consent forms this Saturday (of course I had made plans for that day) — it’s not good enough if we were to sign and fax the forms in. NO… the forms must be signed in their presence — you know how I am, forging Pete’s name all the time. ; )
I start the drugs on Thursday – two a day for 5 days – then wait a few days, then at day 11, I gotta start testing. The moment I get a positive reading, I need to come in to get an ultrasound.
OF COURSE, knowing me and my luck, it will EITHER happen on day 11 (the day I have plans to attend the kick off party for the SF International film festival) OR on day 13 (the day I have plans to go to a music festival in Livermore).
(sigh)
I am reading a great book. It’s about a professor at Carnegie Mellon University who learns that he has pancreatic cancer and has only 3 months to live.
He has 3 young children and is happily married.
I just started reading the book and he describes how hard it is to decide just how to spend the little time he has left.
Of course there are things he would like to teach his children. As well as conversations that, as a father, he wants to have with them, that they just aren’t ready for.
He decides to present a series of lectures as a final statement to fulfill his last personal wish and objective. He would also record the lectures for his children to experience after he passes.
Time is of the essence, in this case.
I have a feeling this book will be an inspirational one. I’ll write more as I continue to read.
Check it out on Amazon,
I had a very welcome visitor today… Auntie Flow!
How normal am I?! : )
Two months in a row and just 1 day apart… That means a 31 day cycle, I guess?
I will start the drugs again on Wednesday.
Fingers crossed…
I went on a fabulous hike this morning with one of my more inspiring women friends…. damn this girl is impressive. Anyhoo, we talked, cried, and therapatized (and I do not care if that is NOT a real word!).
Amy is the gal who lost her ex husband two weekends ago… she filled me in on some shocking details that have me in a very pensive mood… as well as scratching my head. (MEN, need I say more? although that topic should be reserved for another blog entry).
It is amazing to me how much this woman has been through but she is one of the strongest women I know. Definitely a model for who I aspire to be.
The hike was quite a cathartic event for both of us… the two of us huffing and puffing (okay, just ME), laying it all out in the open, bouncing thoughts and feelings off of each other….. all in the blazing heat (yes, it reached 88 degrees today… on April 12?).
After two hours of blood, sweat and tears (yeah, I exaggerate…. so?!?!?) I felt great… cleansed and ready to conquer the world.
After the hike, we stopped off at Diablo Foods as I wanted to pick up a “princess cake” for my friend Anna. Her birthday is April 15 (yeah, unfortunate!) and we planned to go to dinner that evening.
I dropped Amy off and listened to my voicemail. I had turned off my phone so I hadn’t received the call, but I found myself listening to the most heartwrenching voicemail message. It was Anna… tearfully informing me that her dad had passed away the night before.
It was probably the longest message I’d ever received from my great friend (a bridesmaid at my wedding) who I have always admired for her strength and level-headedness. Within moments, I too, found myself in tears. Her father had been battling Parkinson’s Disease and his condition had worsened in the past 6 months.
I did get a chance to chat with Anna today and I reminded her that he lived a long life and she did everything in her power to go home (South Dakota is quite far from California) as often as possible to be by his side. In fact, she and her sister had visited just last weekend. He died peacefully and my feeling is that he may have had no more strength in him to fight to live. Anna said he hadn’t been eating and he had been bed-ridden. It was time to go.
Having lost my father and my experience when he passed (a bit fuzzy 18 years later), I tried as hard as I could to offer her any tidbit of positivity to help her through this sad time. But I felt at a loss for words. She had many questions for me and I realized that I’ve let my memories of my dad and the experience of loss fade. I was a baby at 19 years old. How can I realize those memories again?
Life goes on. It’s a sad fact and something Amy, her daughters, and Anna will come to find out.
Amy asked me today if I felt that my dad was in heaven, following what was going on in our lives. I told her that I do believe. I believe he knows, and is aware of what we’re up to. Of course I hope he is proud. I am not a religious person by any means… go figure.
One very overwhelming thought I had all day after speaking with Anna is this: she & her husband have been trying to get pregnant for a while. Wouldn’t it be symbolic if she got pregnant now?
I will never forget these three words. When I was a child, my dad told me that these three words were his favorite words of all time.
He had great taste…. I do feel like these are words that should be used as much as possible, when appropriate, of course!
1. Nincompoop.
noun
a stupid foolish person
She was a nincompoop to believe the Giants would win the game.
2. Titillation.
c.1425, “pleasing excitement,” from L. titillationem (nom. titillatio) “a tickling,” noun of action from titillare “to tickle,” imitative of giggling.
My husband seems to gain much titillation at my expense.
3. Discombobulated.
adjective
having self-possession upset; thrown into confusion; “the hecklers pelted the discombobulated speaker with anything that came to hand”; “looked at each other dumbly, quite disconcerted”- G.B.Shaw
The Olympic Torch Bearers were discombobulated by Gavin Newsom’s change of plans.
One of my favorite girls, Ayelet, sent me the link to a website for Women on the Web (Apparently they wanted to use the domain: dot.WOW.dot.com but it was already taken as an adult website! So… wowowow.com it is!
It’s great site for thought provoking women, like A & I, to learn about the opinions and sentiments of like minded women as well as share our own thoughts. The site features a panel of strong and well-respected women who initiate topics of conversation, debatable issues, and questions to ponder. Registered members of the site can pipe in and contribute their 2 cents, providing content on the web. I love it!
Today, I found the following conversation topic.
http://www.wowowow.com/conversation/friendship-family-gossip-Texas
The title called out at me. And I feel it is so true. I once saw a gimmicky t-shirt that read, “Friends are God’s reward for punishing us with Family” — that is a bit much in my opinion, but I did get a good laugh! ; )
One of my favorite girls, Ayelet, sent me the link to a website for Women on the Web (Apparently they wanted to use the domain: dot.WOW.dot.com but it was already taken as an adult website! So… wowowow.com it is!
It’s great site for thought provoking women, like A & I, to learn about the opinions and sentiments of like minded women as well as share our own thoughts. The site features a panel of strong and well-respected women who initiate topics of conversation, debatable issues, and questions to ponder. Registered members of the site can pipe in and contribute their 2 cents, providing content on the web. I love it!
Today, I found the following conversation topic.
http://www.wowowow.com/conversation/friendship-family-gossip-Texas
The title called out at me. And I feel it is so true. I once saw a gimmicky t-shirt that read, “Friends are God’s reward for punishing us with Family” — that is a bit much in my opinion, but I did get a good laugh! ; )
I’m having a very reflective week as many of you know.
Seriously, the I LOVE YOU, MAN! emails I sent to almost all of my friends and family members were NOT a result of some afternoon drinking binge, rather a knee jerk reaction to an emotional day that truly caught me off guard. I thought, ” it’s a funeral for someone I don’t even know… I’ll show up in support for my friend and get on with my day – never mind the chapel was so mobbed I didn’t even get a chance to give her my condolences.”
Whoa… hold on, not so fast. I stepped into the chapel and like a ton of bricks, emotions hit me I hadn’t felt in years. I listened to my friend’s speech…. truly a brave endeavor given it had been her decision to ask for a divorce just a year ago and most of the funeral attendees were his family members, who were certainly not shy about expressing their disapproval regarding the divorce. I admire her honest and touching memorial of a man who was clearly the love of her life. People evolve… it’s life and it makes me sad that his family could not find a way in their hearts to accept the decisions that were made in the past.
But, I digress.
Beethoven (AKA Mr. B) is the topic for today. Another friend of mine lost her cat to cancer (what a week!) and I realized that my days with Beethoven are numbered. So, I felt like I should write a little something on behalf of my partially senile cat, who I love like a family member.
This cat has been with me through thick and thin… literally. I got the little man when I was in college, just 20 years old, I felt like such a mature adult. I shared an apartment with my boyfriend at the time. He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, thus he named Beethoven, after Beethoven the dog, yeah, that’s right, the big St. Bernard in that popular movie from the early 90′s. I’m still scratching my head.
Beethoven has been through it all. A shy kitten, he was traumatized early on. Boyfriend and I went on a mini-vacation and left my friend Seema and her group of boypals to babysit. Years later I learned that in a drunken stupor, they had duct taped baby B to a swivel chair, twirled him ’round and ’round and watched as he dizzily tried to run away. How messed up is that? As I write this, I find myself getting mad. But as Seema is a childhood friend, we forgive and forget.
No wonder poor Beethoven always ran and hid whenever someone came over to visit.
Beethoven lived with me in Davis, my tiny studio in Sacramento, my even tinier closet size “studio” in San Francisco…. then life got good: after Pete and I moved in together, he lived in a palatial 2 bedroom apartment in Tiburon, and now heaven: our house in Alamo with the big backyard. Sometimes I find him rolling around in the grass like the king that he is.
Life changed suddenly for Beethoven about 2 1/2 years ago. Lucy the precocious, hyperactive, fast-moving, sharp-as-a-tack Boston Terrior arrived. Oh, it was an adjustment. Luckily Beethoven still has his claws intact and little Lucy learned at an early age NOT to mess with Mr. B.
At 17 years old, and with little Lucy demanding as much attention as she does – oh, and she’s too cute not to warrant it – Beethoven often times is forgotten, an afterthought. Except when Beethoven is hungry. Then EVERYBODY knows it. He’s relentless, “Meow, Meow, Meow (rubs up to leg), Meow, Meow (rubs up to leg)”. He knows what needs to be done to get what he wants. There is no way some punk dog is going to get in the way of mealtime, oh no, siree!
I’ve started taking more pictures of Beethoven. I will try to post some on my blog. I can’t bear to think about the day when Beethoven is no longer in our lives but I do know this cat has lived a great life, I’m sure he has used most of his 9….
I have some amazing friends. I have been thinking alot about friendships after realizing that someone I considered to be a friend does not reciprocate that sentiment. I realize that I need to be more selective over who I spend my valuable time with. Friendships should be mutually supportive, respectful, non-judgmental in nature. Most of my friendships are based on such simple principles.
One of my true and dear friends, Victoria, sent me the following:
We don’t get to have friends who stay with us for a long time often, and as years go by I value my friendship with girls like you more, because we will always be friends and that’s not very common these days. People tend to be flaky and they come and go. and sometimes they grow apart. So it’s really important to keep those who are close to us, who have seen us through good and bad close by. And we have to take friends for what they are, with traits that we like and with traits we disagree on. Good friends are like family members, you love them but also get annoyed by things you don’t like about them…., Then there are other types of friends who kind of fade away with time, they just don’t seem to care about you or be interested in your life, those we call them good ridden. You know who i’m talking about! 
Victoria and I have had many discussions about “friends” who have faded away as she describes.
We are constantly evolving individuals and sometimes friends come to us to serve a specific purpose and once that purpose has been met, both parties move on. Such is life.
But the true friends who remain through good & bad, richer & poorer, are those to hold on to.
