Those who know me know that I’m not one to let the little things get to me. I don’t typically overanalyze glib comments… life is too short to worry if someone meant something else when they said, “you look very healthy today” (as an example).
I received an email the other day… it’s still giving me grief. The word, “childless”, was used to describe me and I didn’t really think twice about it until reflecting upon the email later on. Obviously, this is a factual statement. Why should it bother me?
Well, first of all, being childless is not necessarily a “by choice” trademark, at least in my situation. Would you describe a cancer patient as “diseased”?
Second, there is a negative connotation anytime the word “less” is used. I can’t help but feel that in the eyes of my friend, I am somehow deficient. Others MAY view my state of being as a “more” rather than “less” situation. Perhaps “lifefull” or “freedomfull” are more choice words to use?
Lastly – and I think this is the most disappointing - I felt very alienated by that statement. US “childfull” gals are on this side of the room. Aren’t we cool and normal and great? Oh! poor you on the other side of the room, so lonely with the other sad childless people. Wait… I’m having flashbacks of Prom night!
I have always hoped my true friends will remain real to me through good times, bad times, and all the changes and evolutions we all encounter in life. Don’t get me wrong, there is no doubt in my mind that I will continue to value my friendship with this anonymous emailer. My level of sensitivity is sky high these days and things that I would normally not think twice about, I’m second guessing.
Now I’m off to partake in one of those activities that only childless people can truly appreciate…
living my life for me.
